7:01-8:51am Rush around the house trying to get everyone fed, lunches packed, people under two dressed. Spend a little time with Matt, Al, Ann and Natalie while Sam and I share a bowl of cheese grits. Begin the process of wondering what to make for supper.
9:00am Drop Sam off at Mother's Day Out and feel confusingly sad and happy about this arrangement at the same time. Wonder if anyone notices that I haven't taken a shower. Hm.
9:20am Rush back home to pick up forgotten coupons and grocery list. Also, decide a cookie at this point in the morning is not a bad idea.
9:49am Visit library in search of books for Sam about farm animals who build their own barns and children who love their mamas and pick up their toys.
10:12am Purchase hardware to secure bookshelves to wall. (also known as "preventing large bookcases from squashing small boys who like to scale furniture").
10:45am Drive over to "The Learning Express" store, where they sell fascinating toys for somewhat less than fascinating prices. However, a particular grandma has commissioned me to buy an early Christmas purchase for her grandson. I heave and ho my way out of the store with a prettily wrapped, rather heavy, toddler trampoline. Begin to wonder if this is such a good idea.
11:00am Find a Curious George dvd for $5 at Target and decide parents who have seen the Curious George dvd at home 27.5 times deserve new episodes. Pretty sure Sam will like them, too.
11:45am Purchase a kid's meal at Chic Fila. Listen to talk radio while consuming chicken nuggets, waffle fries and a miniature sweet tea. Wonder how many other people are listening to talk radio and drinking out of kiddie cups at the same time.
12:15-1:45pm Arrive back at the ranch where I wash the breakfast dishes, make the bed, consider redecorating the house, put chicken out to thaw as I continue to wonder what to make for dinner, put toys up, frame a picture, unwrap the farm puzzle I bought Sam, take a shower, check my email, fill up a sippy-cup and head out the door to pick up Sam.
2:00pm Pick up Sam and am informed that Sam only ate cookies for lunch. Serious nutritional party foul. Consider sneaking ham and cheese into the next batch of cookies I make. Subsequently decide that this is actually a very gross idea.
2:15pm Put Sam down for a nap. Spray his shirt with stain remover (he's not wearing it anymore in case you were concerned). Check People.com to see what famous people are doing on a Tuesday. Get to work editing a dissertation by someone who lives in South America (a little moonlighting). Surf the web looking at Christmas card options. Consider taking out a loan to print and send Christmas cards. Decide that Matt will not approve. Find a recipe for dinner! (huzzah) Go back to editing.
4:34pm Sam wakes up and dinner preparation begins. Spend the next two hours intermittently cooking, reading library books (to Sam) and providing tide-me-overs to the little guy who's watching Curious George sail the high seas on a pirate ship.
5:15pm The husband comes home from work. Hugs all around.
6:30pm Dinner is served and a gourmet meal of Ritz cracker cheesy chicken, green beans and boxed parmesan orzo is a hit. Immediately follow up this triumph with a cookie and then start cleaning up the mess I've made. Spend the next twenty minutes dreaming of a dishwasher.
7:15pm Sam rushes upstairs to begin the "process," also known as the "spend the next 35 minutes chasing a boy in a diaper around trying to bathe and clothe him whilst reading stories about trains and trucks and wild monkeys." Forty-five minutes later, the dishes are washed, the boy is asleep and the evening begins with fanfare and ice cream.
8:00pm Find a show on Hulu.com and wonder if the laundry in the dryer can wait until the morning to be folded. Decide that, in fact, folding is necessary and so I fold while we watch an episode of something riveting enough to fall asleep to by approximately 9:30.
9:45pm Wake up long enough to drag myself upstairs, brush my teeth, and then sleep until it's time to do it all over again.
3:45am Dream about an alien takeover masterminded by Kim Kardashian.
