Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I Like To Make Lists

I'm a firstborn, Type A, relatively obsessive compulsive, slightly neurotic perfectionist. This makes you feel sad for my husband, doesn't it. And, you're probably wondering if you should ever come to visit me again. But, despite the fact that I might be tempted to sneak into your room to reorganize your suitcase and arrange your clothes according to color if you come to stay, I'm pretty harmless. And here's one of the reasons why: I channel a lot of my pent-up organizational angst into lists.

I love lists. I love post-it notes. I love labeling a list with the all caps header "TO DO." I love marking things off my list. Sometimes I even write things on my list that I've already done just so that I can mark them off. I realize this means that I need some sort of help. But, that's for another conversation. Right now, let's focus on the joys of LISTS, shall we?

Since it's Christmas (almost), and I like you, I thought I'd share a few of my lists with you. It's a season of giving after all, and so here's my gift to you:
A List of Lists!

Things that I've broken recently:
~The coffeepot. And then I spent four days living in fear of a glass shard finding its way into my foot or worse, Sam's sweet little foot. Luckily, only my foot fell victim to a wayward glass shard. Now, I have a pot-less coffee maker that I'm not sure what to do with.
~A glass. Now I have only three small juice glasses. And it's driving me crazy to not have an even number. I'm concerned that this makes me more similar to the main character on "Monk" than I feel comfortable with.
~My hair straightener. Well, that actually seemed to break on its own, but I blame myself for running it in to the ground these last three years. The good news is that it came back to life after twenty-four hours. I think it missed me.
~The toaster. OK, the toaster isn't really broken. It just has faulty wiring due to having its cord toasted on the eye of the stove. This wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't also recently toasted a large stove eye-shaped scar into the cutting board. Oops.

Stuff that makes me cry Every. Single. Time:
~The Folgers commercial where the older brother comes home after being gone to West Africa (obviously) for a really long time and his little sister sticks a bow on him and says "You're my present this year." SERIOUSLY? I'm tearing up a little right now.
~"The Velveteen Rabbit" movie. Specifically the part where the toy rabbit gets tossed into the fire (I was a little disturbed by this at first) but THEN turns into a real rabbit and hops away. *sniff*
~Any and every Hallmark commercial. Somebody at Hallmark is an emotion-manipulating genius.

Questions I answer 500 times a day:
~Whazzat? (asked approximately every two-four minutes from sun-up to sun-down)
~Are you okay?
~Where go?
~Juice? Cracker?(just to clarify, these are more requests/demands than questions)

Other phrases I hear 500 times a day:
~Oh No.
~Oh Gosh.
~Oh Man.
~Mama (not so much a phrase,but a mantra that Sam likes to chant/repeat/shout/etc. It's a multi-usage word)
~Truck (although Sam's version substitutes an unfortunate "F" for the "Tr." It's a little disconcerting until you figure out what he's pointing at. We're currently working on this).

Things you can feel free to buy me for Christmas, if you feel so inclined:
~A Lexus. Because apparently, according to the commercials, buying someone a car is what really makes Christmas merry. Just make sure you don't forget the ginormous bow. It's key.
~An Ipad. Because somewhere along the way, I got totally brainwashed by all the brilliant marketing and now I can't stop thinking about all the ways my life would be better with one.
~A Cheese of the Month membership. Because how seriously awesome would this be?

Stuff I wonder:
~What really happened to Kim and Kris?
~Why did "Breaking Dawn" have to be divided into two parts? Wouldn't a four hour vampire/werewolf movie have been just as awesome/mind-numbing?
~Should I pick up knitting or crocheting? Is there really a difference?
~How much Nutella is too much Nutella?
~Is Bradley Cooper really the sexiest man alive?
~Does anyone know what Oprah's doing these days?
~Is being a stay at home mom causing my brain to slowly shut down?
~Does letting Sam watch television mean that he will end up going to community college and graduating when he's 32 only to get a job as a carhop at Sonic?
~Is being a stay at home mom causing my brain to slowly shut down?

And lastly,
Stuff that makes me laugh (courtesy of Pinterest):


And This:

You're welcome.


  1. A list of lists! That is the best!
    I only have one problem with making lists: Sometimes I get too much satisfaction from making the list. The tasks often feel "as good as done" as long as they are on a list. Oops. Speaking of list making, I'm off to make my list of things I should be doing other than reading your fantastic blog.

    2. It makes me miss you rull, rull bad.
    3. I LOL'd about five times while reading it.
    4. I LOL'd the loudest at picture #2. OH MY WORD. I love her. I kind of want to frame it.
    5. I never allow myself to say LOL. Today, I said it twice. That is how much I loved this post.
    6. I'm sorry you cut your foot.
    The end.

  3. I know all the answers to the last list of questions, and I'm enthralled with the new season of Kim and Kourtney Take New York. I'll tell you everything Kardashian/Humphries I know this weekend. :)

  4. Gosh I just love you. There is no one like you and I love you. I don't feel sorry for Matt; I feel sorry for everyone who doesn't get to call you friend. xoxo. Here's another list idea for you: make a list of dates you can come here or we can come there. k?



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