"Whatever you are, be a good one." - Abraham Lincoln.
Really, who knows if Abe really said this or not. I've also read that he said this: "The problem with quotes on the internet is that it's very hard to verify their authenticity." Indeed.
AND, while you're questioning whether or not that's actually something he would've said if he could've said it, consider that Abe may actually still be alive according to Seth Grahame-Smith's recent book, "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter," which inexplicably intrigues me and simultaneously makes me nervous. (Sidenote: I realize that I left that book title un-italicized which honestly makes me sad in the grammar corner of my heart. BUT, if anyone can tell me why Blogger won't let me italicize when I press ctrl/I, I would be eternally grateful. End of sidenote).
Let's get back to Honest Abe's comment on being a good whatever because that's what we're really here to talk about. Sort of.
Last night Matt and I went to dinner at the Canyon Grill, a happy little restaurant at the end of this long ridge that we live on, which we also call a mountain. Dinner dates are rather few and far between in this little life of ours and so it always feels like a big deal when we get to go out together and I don't have to cook. For those of you who don't know (at least those of you who are of the male persuasion), a date is defined by most women in this way: no cooking, no dishes, high heels.
Anyhoo, on our date I found myself waxing "eloquent" (quotation marks here mean that I was actually not eloquent at all) on why I want to have another baby. Poor, long-suffering, charming Matt listened patiently. This is what he hears from me ad nauseam these days. I find myself going off on small rants about Snooki and the middle Kardashian and everybody else in Hollywood who are in the family way whilst poor little ole me is decidedly not. Again, poor Matt.
And so, back to Abe's quote about being good at being whatever. I explained to Matt that in this current season of life I feel like I only have the time/energy/capacity to be good at one thing and right now, that one thing is being a mom. It's what I do and most of who I am a lot of the time. And so, I explained to him, this is why I need another baby (obviously, or maybe not so obviously). I'm GOOD at this mothering thing. Let's all pause for a moment to be in shock over the fact that I just typed that "out loud."
Last week, I could have written you three blog posts and a short novel on how I was, in fact, not a good mother. However, a mere week later I'm feeling a bit more confident. It may have a teensy bit to do with a shifting of the perspective, thanks to a book I just read (i.e. "Bringing up Bebe" - please imagine italics here). You can read it and decide for yourself what you think of its implied admonition to American mothers to stop calling themselves "bad mothers" for not centering their whole universe around a small, 2.5 foot person. But, I digress.
I love Sam with my whole heart and I've committed myself to doing my darndest to give him a good, wholesome childhood that prepares him for whatever comes after. And, so, I find myself thinking, "I need another one of these little people to love on and then send off into the world to love on others."
Well, anyway, this was something of the argument I made to Matt over dinner, which in fact was a test-run for the argument I've been making to God when I try to convince Him to give us another little person. Lame, I know. Obviously, God doesn't need me to prepare a power-point presentation in order to win Him over to my side.
So, to sum up, I'm currently a mom. And, I think I'm a good one (most of the time). And, apparently, I also think this means God should give me another little person to raise. In closing, I probably need a therapist.
Back to Abe. I'm not totally sure where he fits into all this. Basically, I read that alleged "quote" of his about being a good whatever and it made me wonder what it is that I am that I should be good at. Thus, this rambling post.
OK, obviously, I don't have a point, so I'll just leave you with another list.
Things That Are Currently My Favorite:
Afternoon snack: Ghiradelli chocolate chips, dried cherries and walnuts - My friend Amanda's mom's stroke of genius.
Summer reading: "Under the Tuscan Sun" (again, imagine the italics)-So much better than the movie.
This tumblr: http://greeneyeddarlin.tumblr.com/
This blog: thenatos.blogspot.com
This website: Serena and Lily
This song: Katie Hertzig's "Lost and Found"
See you soon.