Crafting with Cat Hair is a Real Thing

I'm 35. It pains me a small amount to type that. And yet, so it is. I wouldn't think about it a whole lot but for this baby I'm carrying around that keeps reminding me that I'm no spring chicken anymore. I'm like the spring chicken's great, great, great, great grandma's grandma. Another doctor visit this morning reminded me that having babies after 35 is less easy than having them at 25. (I realize this is common knowledge). Currently, I have pregnancy-related high cholesterol, low iron, high glucose levels and heartburn to rival the Colorado fire outbreak. Turns out that the labeling of my current season of life as "Advanced Maternal Age" is, in fact, a real thing and also a bummer.

But, all of this is only slightly more interesting than the terrible choice we made on Netflix the other night (Madea's Witness Protection Program, if you were wondering). So, I'll take my A.M.A. issues and move on. I just needed to overshare for a sec.

So, let's talk about Pinterest. I love Pinterest. I keep reading articles and blog posts about how Pinterest is giving us all inferiority complexes and driving us to break the tenth commandment by coveting each other's fondant cake sculptures and non-dairy, gluten-free, low-cal crockpot masterpieces. But, honestly, I don't suffer from these Pinterest-y problems so much. (Note: I have plenty of other coveting/comparison/inferiority problems, just not that one.) Pinterest is basically my virtual happy place.

However, I do find that, on occasion, pinners on Pinterest sometimes pin things that make me want to question their freedom to pin or use a toaster without supervision. You know what I'm talking about. Here are a couple examples:

Is this really happening out there?

These pants make my eyes burn.

And one more for good measure:

I'm curious what undergarments would be appropriate for this outfit.

In light of these sorts of pins, I came up with a list of boards and possible pins that I have yet to see on Pinterest but expect to see any day. Here you go:

Board #1

Crafts/DIY You Don't Have Time For:

-Make toothpick sculptures of your children (The new family heirloom).

-Handcarve your own scrabble pieces.

-Make a quilt out of your childhood Barbies' doll clothes. (Bonus points if you use Barbie hair for a fringe).

-Knit your own towels and washcloths. (Bonus points for harvesting your own wool from sheep you raised in your back yard).

-Learn to taxidermy (Seriously knocks out that Christmas list in no time. Stuffed squirrels for everyone!)

Board #2

Innovative/Out of the Box Recipes:

-Pumpkin bread with a coleslaw mix-in

-Healthy vegetable ice cream sundae - top with your favorite pureed veggie!

-Baked chicken stuffed with last night's leftovers - economical!

-Meatball pancakes with ketchup syrup

-Fried egg ice cream with bacon bits topping

Board #3

Good Ideas You Haven't Thought of Yet:

-Easiest Meal Ever- Place a roast, baking potatoes, green beans, a loaf of french bread and a gallon of sweet tea in a crockpot. Cook until dinner time.

-Substitute English peas for chocolate chips.

-Freeze apple sauce into sticks and use like you would butter.

-Make beef broth popsicles.

Honestly, I had a few more lists but realized that some of them aren't just figments of my imagination, but are actually happening out there. (i.e. bake your own goldfish, make your own dishwashing liquid, etc.)

Anyhoo, I pretty much just entertained myself for a half hour coming up with these. I'm curious what craziness you've seen on Pinterest recently. Do share.

Until next time, maybe you should try your hand at this recipe for milk pudding with Turkish fairy floss, or possibly actual floss: