If I Were Your Therapist...

Here's what I'd suggest (and I wouldn't even charge you):

1. Always keep the pantry stocked with Nutella. (restock when jar is half-empty)

2. Marry someone whose last name has the same number of syllables as yours. (optional)

3. Skip the last two seasons of Gilmore Girls. (seasons 6 and 7 are totally unnecessary)

4. Don't straighten your hair on rainy days. (only leads to frustration)

5. Avoid skinny jeans unless you have legs like Gisele Bundchen. (note: if you have to think about it, you probably don't)

6. Burn any pair of culottes you may still have hanging in your closet from high school. (i'm talking to you, ACS alumni)

7. Call your friends instead of facebooking them. (they'll facebook you later to tell you how much they appreciated it)

8. Fill your toddler's juice cup with apple instead of grape juice. (your upholstered furniture will thank you)

9. Bake cookies at least once a week. (AT LEAST)

10. Assume that all Kevin Bacon movies will give you bad dreams. (avoid them)

11. Call your grandma more often. (she loves you)

12. Don't watch the news. (it's depressing)

13. Do watch The Office. (approximately 24 minutes of fun)

14. Stop comparing yourself. (you can't compete with photoshop and multiple pairs of Spanx)

15. Confess that you've read the whole Twilight series. (chances are, whoever you're talking to read them last summer. twice)

16. Use your crockpot more often. (it's handy)

17. Try not to obsess over the cheerios in the carpet. (they're only toddlers once)

18. Cancel Netflix. (save that $17 a month and watch Hulu for free)

19. Try a new recipe. (here's one: http://annies-eats.net/2011/03/08/weeknight-bolognese/)

20. Invite somebody over. (they probably know some jokes you haven't heard before)